To fetch the bride means that the groom will be up against some obstales and he must bring all the right things on his quest. He must bring his troop of brothers and he must also bring certain items to fetch the bride. There will be bridesmaids and best men that will come so it is important to know how many you will want. Sometimes, the bride and groom will match one bridesmaid to one best man but you can have as many as your budget allows.
One thing to know is that everyone of the helpers will get a red packet of money to give them good luck. This can get costly if you have a lot of people helping. Once all the people are in place the festivities begin.
The groom must bring the matchmaker (Tai Kam Chay - some do not have will bring the best man along instead). This person will carry the tray with goodies on it to be presented to the bride's parents later.
On the tray, you will have the following items :-
Raw pork leg - this goes to the mother of the bride because she had such a beautiful daughter that she is not going to get married.
Tangerines or oranges - this should be an even number of these and they are given to make sure the couple will have good fortune.
Dried Persimmons - again an even number and these are give to insure that the family continues to prosper.
Dried Longan - these are kept in shells and given to the bride to insure that there will always be sweetness in the marriages.
Dried Lotus Seeds - these should be given in as many as is good taste because it ensures that the couple will have many children.
"Pak Hap" - this is so that the couple will have one hundred years of happiness and closeness in the marriage.
It is important to make sure that your tray looks very nice and enticing for the family. The bride's family will give the tray back later with an even number of tangerines or oranges on it to show that they have accepted this gift and that the two families will continue to have good fortune.
Once everything is in place, the groom proceeds to the bride's house where his car is greeted by some of the bride's brothers. The youngest (no matter how young he is) must open the car door for the groom. If she has no younger brother, a younger male friend or cousin can do the job. The groom must not open the door himself so he must be very patient as sometimes the youngest brother is very small and must have helper to open the door. The young boy will have two oranges that he will give the goom once he opens the door. These are for good fortune and will be left in the bridal car to make sure it is free of accidents on the wedding day. The groom will give the boy a red packet for opening the door.
Now the groom must face the bridesmaids who have a series of obstacle that he must ge through in order to get to the bride. One of the obstacles he will have to face in order to fetch the bride will be that he must get through the blocked door. The reason they are blocking the door is to show that they love the bride and they do not want to give her away. (This is part of the humor of the situation but it is taken very seriously). Again the groom must have red packets and it should be in a certain amount that is usually decided ahead of time.
Now the groom must face a series of obstacles and get through them in order to fetch the bride